MAPLE GROVE, MN — A local homeowners association has fined resident Tom Beckett $200 after determining his lawn was "aggressively lush" and causing "emotional distress" to neighboring yards.

The citation, issued Tuesday, states Beckett's grass exhibited "a suspicious, almost defiant vibrancy" inconsistent with community standards, which require lawns to look "adequately maintained but quietly resigned."

"It's too green," said HOA president Diane Holloway. "The rest of us are out here doing our best with patchy fescue and a watering schedule we half-remember, and Tom's yard looks like a golf course had a baby with a wedding venue. It's demoralizing."

Neighbors confirmed the lawn had become a source of tension. "My kids asked why our grass doesn't look like Mr. Beckett's grass," said neighbor Paul Grady. "I told them Mr. Beckett's grass is on steroids. I don't know if that's true. It just felt true."

Beckett, 52, said he was blindsided. "I mow twice a week. I overseed in the fall. I'm sorry my lawn has self-esteem," he said. "The letter said my blades were 'flaunting themselves at an unneighborly height.' They're grass. They don't know what they're doing."

The HOA's landscaping committee conducted a formal inspection, measuring Beckett's turf at a "provocative" two and three-quarter inches. The committee's report notes the lawn "appeared to be thriving out of spite" and recommends Beckett "introduce some modest brown patches to restore community morale."

Holloway denied the fine was personal. "This isn't about Tom. It's about the principle that no one's yard should make the rest of us question our life choices before 8 a.m.," she said. "We have standards. The standard is: everyone's lawn should look equally tired."

At press time, the HOA had issued a second citation after Beckett's garden gnome was found to have "anarchist posture."