Thursday, October 29, 2026
Section
8 dispatches
WASHINGTON
Human officials formally rejected the honeybee demand for 30,000 years of back honey Monday, arguing that no living person stole a drop of it and that the claimants themselves are roughly 1,200 generations removed from the original alleged victims.
MILL VALLEY, CA
Local wealthy white progressive Graham Whitlock-Price, 52, told reporters Friday that he remains disgusted that it is still possible, in 2026, for wealthy white people…
WASHINGTON
A bipartisan-looking coalition of Democratic governors announced today that they would ban whole grains in their states, effective immediately, hours after a federal…
ARLINGTON, VA
School districts across the country adopted a communications policy Monday allowing employees to acknowledge an email without undergoing the separate process of reading…
ATLANTA
An airline delayed a Tuesday afternoon flight by 47 minutes after an extended apology caused it to miss its departure slot, requiring a second apology.
DENVER
An airline unveiled a new boarding tier Friday for passengers who rise from their seats the moment a gate agent approaches a microphone.
SPRINGFIELD
Following news that machines had resolved hundreds of open problems in mathematics, the Springfield School Board voted 6–1 Wednesday to keep teaching long division…
WASHINGTON
Facing high fuel prices, the United States announced this month a bold new approach to energy security: keeping its diesel reserve in Russia.
The Deadpan Times