LANCASTER, PA — A local father’s “quick trip to the hardware store for just one thing” entered its third hour Saturday, bringing preparations for his daughter’s wedding to a standstill and prompting family members to organize a search party.

Dave Marlowe, 47, left home at 9:15 a.m. to purchase a single 3/8-inch drill bit needed to finish assembling a decorative wooden arch for his daughter’s wedding reception, scheduled to begin later that afternoon.

“Twenty minutes, tops,” Marlowe reportedly told his wife before leaving.

That was nearly four hours ago.

“He texted ‘almost done’ at 10:40,” said his wife, Karen Marlowe. “That was two hours ago. The florist is here, the photographer is here, the bride is crying, and the arch is still in pieces on the lawn.”

According to store employees, Marlowe was last seen “just looking at the drill bits,” a condition experts say can extend a hardware store visit by 40 to 90 minutes, particularly if the customer begins questioning whether he should buy an entire new drill.

Witnesses described a familiar pattern. Marlowe reportedly entered through the contractor entrance “to save time,” then spent 25 minutes comparing two nearly identical tape measures, neither of which he needed.

He was later observed in the fastener aisle, standing motionless before a wall of screws like a man receiving divine instruction.

“He doesn’t need screws,” Karen explained. “We have three coffee cans and an entire organizer full of screws. He just likes to make sure they’re still making them.”

Store manager Bill Kready confirmed Marlowe is a regular customer and said employees had grown concerned when he began examining the cordless impact drivers.

“That’s usually when we know we’re going to have him awhile,” Kready said. “He came in for a furnace filter last spring and we nearly had to put him on the schedule.”

Kready added that Marlowe had spent several minutes discussing the relative merits of two brands of wood glue with a complete stranger.

“Neither guy was buying wood glue. They just had some thoughts.”

Back at the wedding venue, tensions continued to rise as family members debated whether to send someone after Marlowe or simply finish the arch without him.

“We can’t finish it,” Karen said. “Dave took the drill with him because he wanted to make sure he got the right bit.”

The bride, 24-year-old Emily Marlowe, said she had anticipated some delays but never imagined her father would disappear into a hardware store on her wedding day.

“I just wanted him to walk me down the aisle,” she said. “Apparently he needed to walk down seventeen other aisles first.”

At press time, Marlowe had been spotted in the lumber department, slowly running his hand along a 2x4 “just to feel it,” before telling another customer, “You know, I could probably build that whole arch a better way.”

UPDATE: Marlowe returned at 1:47 p.m. carrying a $189 cordless leaf blower, a new tape measure, two packs of batteries, and a bag of beef jerky.

He forgot the drill bit.

The wedding has been delayed indefinitely after Marlowe announced he was “just going to run back real quick.”